This year you saw morgue taking human walk-ins and loneliness getting into a life long committed relationship with humanity. Homes appearing in claustrophobic nightmares and dream-catchers sanitized in alcohol, freeing your past demons because the present time is an infinite while loop of a horror movie. Demons are lurking in empty hallways, past demons seem weaker in comparison.
You feel that time is an infinity that has imprisoned your guts, blood, and muscles into isolation. You liked the earlier days of isolation when you could not read the sky and thought isolation is safety. But now, quarantine has made you literate in the language of the skies and you listen to constellations telling stories about how stars are corpses in reality. You realize that isolation is lovely eyed and dead-touched. You think, isolation is not safety. If no one knows you are alive, are you alive?
Isolation plays a broken cassette of an old tape called overthinking in the labyrinths of your mind and when you listen to it, you think about multiverses.
Somewhere your dreams are a part of reality and that’s why waking up feels like drinking a whiskey of déjà vu in a teacup of longing. Somewhere your nightmares are a reality and that’s why waking up feels like choking on seaweed before you die of drowning.
You try to find comfort in this theory, a Universe that is not one but many as though the butterfly effect traveled through liquefied rainbows into existence-ridden galaxies. A Universe where humanity is kind to Earth and you can finally count all the shades of the sky, where you do not grieve for someone who is still alive. However, comfort does not want to share your apartment lately, you are a messy roommate.
I don’t know much but I do know this that there are fragments within us that are as old as the childbirth of the Universe. You are made of matter and you are nothing but ferrous blood when you bleed, you reek of rust and iron that nurtures the very stars and knot your arteries.
How can you be dead in isolation, when you are your own soulmate, literally, figuratively and metaphorically?
You tried to find comfort when negativity gave you a warm hug and it led to an overwhelming infinity of overthinking so, let self-compassion give you a bear hug instead. Convince yourself that loneliness does not mean toxicity, you don’t have to drink poison just because you cannot quench your thirst, loneliness is not your lifelong partner, your soul is. Your soul is exploding magic like a witch controlling the magician’s cramped hat.
You are not locked inside your head and even if you are, the imprisonment is not infinite, you are not that entitled, unfortunately. So, why don’t you let the soft animal of your body love you the way it has always wished to love you?
Love yourself like you love clothes that are straight out of your dryer smelling of lavender fabric softener, love yourself like you love the days when your teachers are absent, like reading poetry on rustic swings when it rains. Love yourself like you are a safety device of a roller-coaster on Saturn rings. Love yourself like you are a butterfly who is finally aware of how beautiful are its wings. It is about damn time.
Allow yourself to take up breathing space and laugh in isolation with your soul like a ground-breaking earthquake on a Richter Scale. Existence is your birthright, so sometimes try to breathe with every atom of energy left within you. The world is uncertain so stop lying around in the coffin of the undead people you wish were dead because you are still in mourning.
You have mirror images of the Universe inside yourself so, hold onto this Universe close. Hold onto this Universe close instead of wishing that you were born in one where you did not bite into self-hating words and cynical cycles of existentialism. Hold onto your Universe and bring your favorite scented candle in the labyrinths every time it gets dark in there, your soul will guide you and tell you that there is no point of existence and that is the cosmic art of existence.
Time is not infinite, it never was infinite. It is uncertain and uncertainty is what makes this Earth revolved around a gigantic ball of fire without burning. The only thing is that is infinite is you. A part of you will still live forever and forever, your making is a birthday bash of the Universe. You are a part of the multiverse because you are matter and matter can never be created nor be destroyed.
//”Matter and Multiverse”// Enigma
Copyright © 2016-2020 Enigma. All rights reserved.
Picture Credits: Google Images (from the BTS Music Video – DNA)
Inspired by the prompt: Time and its Overwhelming Infinity
I hope all of you are well, safe and healthy. After a cycle of cynicism, I decided to write something more optimistic and this is the result of it. I generally don’t write these footnotes however, today I decided to write it to acknowledge a few people who have always supported this space and showered my writings with compliments and criticism alike. These people are one of the main reasons for my growth as a writer.
Ink Soaked Soul- Megha Bhartiya
All three of these people have been with me since this little space was just a baby and a medium to unleash my angsty self. These people have seen me grow to whatever I am now.
Megha and Riddhima, both of these girls have given me so much more than those soul-nurturing, made my day comments. They have given me love, people to whom I can reach out for literally anything, their replies maybe late at times yet they are one of the most trustworthy, loving, and supportive virtual friends. I never believed that a person you have never even met could mean so much to you but both of them transformed that perception. Their works and writings are something that leaves me in awe every damn time because it is so raw and honest. So, please check out their blogs and shower them with loads of love, panda hugs, and purple hearts because they are amazing. Cheers to this friendship!
I look up to Dante, his creativity, and his scintillating passion. I am amused by his wit and admire his consistency to nurture his passion with such continuity, that is something I only aspire to be as a writer. He is one of those people who make me sigh for I wish to travel the hallways of his mind to see where the magic happens. The themes and messages in his poetry and writings are refreshing, abstract and it is a real treat as a reader. He is an amazing person with gorgeous perceptions towards life and the world. I also am a fan of his audio recordings because I can attach a voice to his ink, perchance. But most importantly, I owe my sincere gratitude to him for being so supportive, for taking so much time out and putting in so much efforts to analyze my pieces. I also would like to apologize for being a lazy ass because I still have not completed our project for collaboration, I truly hope that we complete this achievement together. More power to you, Dante!
There are many more people without whom I would never have the motivation to post on WordPress. I owe my deep gratitude to all of you for enjoying this little space. Thank you so much!